If I could close my eyes and wake up in another point in my life, say, 15. How would I have changed my life? I spent a great deal of time thinking about this during dinner last night.
Should’ve, could’ve, would’ve.
Would I still have ended up where I am today? The mess which I call my daily grind, waking up every morning with a sombre mood, and attempting to build my positivity throughout the day to reach a high during which the day ends, and then have it reset the next day.
Do I regret?
I would never have made this many bad calls if I knew. I would have sat and thought deeply, caveat emptor. Not that there was anything to buy, but I believe we pay a price for decisions we make. I, for example, bought myself a life of self-pity and guilt.
Then I realised, the pursuit of happiness is often never completed. We try, and we strive, we make mistakes, and we stumble upon forks in roads; often taking the more appealing-looking one, thinking we will reach our desired destinations. When the gloss and novelty fades away, we’re back at square one, where we roll the dice and decide which path to take again. We learn from our past mistakes, and we experiment by doing things differently.
In truth, ladies and gentlemen, we will never get things right.
In realisation to this, I have to stop beating myself up for not getting things right, and then feel guilty about the choices I make. No matter how wrong things are, or stormy the skies are looking; I know this for a fact, Jesus doesn’t care, he still loves me.
